I’m starting this post in December 2017, as we prepare our home to move across country. The move has lots of benefits and was completely our decision (versus forced by a job), but it doesn’t make the logistics of moving, the pain of leaving, or the uncertainty of new places any less.
As I was sitting in the quiet morning stillness, reflecting on 2017, I thought about the major life changes and accomplishments of 2017:
The biggest for me, transitioning out of a full time job to a part-time job.
Trying my hand at bookkeeping for The Matthews House, a non-profit in town.
Completing my first triathalon.
Completing 2 classes towards a master’s I may or may not choose to pursue.
Spending 5 weeks away from my husband and kids for professional education.
Starting a LLC, renting out our first ever home, and everything that entails.
Buying a new home (practically remotely).
I also started to think about what we are to expect in 2018:
A new golf year for my husband, which is variable at best.
A new home, which means finding a new church, new friends, and getting to know new neighbors.
A baby due in April.
A new job for me in the Air Force Reserve.
Becoming a full time stay at home mom.
Living close to family.
Little One starting Kindergarten, which means the beginning of our schooling years (I’m not ready!!!!)
Little Two old enough for dance or swimming or gymnastics classes (I pretty much can’t wait to see her in a tutu).
With all of these changes there is so much uncertainty.
Yet, I have found that I’ve been at peace with the changes despite the chaos of the logistics. For those that know me, you would probably describe me as calm, even when a storm is raging. Despite the many things going on, you will still find a smile on my face and will most likely not find me frantically worried about all I have to do.
But as I was reflecting on 2017, I realized something. I’ve found that my peace doesn’t come from logic and just a calm temperament. The peace comes from a leaning in. It comes from a leaning into the presence of God. A leaning into his arms to trust In Him to take care of the details. A leaning into His arms that He will shelter us from any storm. A leaning that embraces the storms thrown our way because we know growth happens in those storms. A leaning into and embracing that no matter what happens, God will provide. There is a power of faith in God.
It is a leaning into his arms with a comfort knowing that He has already blessed our new home. That he already knows our baby’s name and what he will be like. That he will provide for us financially. That he has already chosen and provided our friends and church. That he has already prepared their hearts and their homes. A leaning in knowing that he has equipped or will equip us to handle any challenges or obstacles we may have. That He will give me the day to day strength and the wisdom to grow my children according to His will as an ambassador for Him to shepherd my children.
This leaning in and trusting is faith. A faith in the face of uncertainty. It is faith despite uncertainty. It is faith because of uncertainty.
I need faith all the time, but I especially need faith in the uncertain times.
And it is through my faith that God provides the joy and comfort in this season. It overcomes fear and doubt. It provides peace.
Now, it is January 2018, and we have arrived safely in our new state, new city, new home. We are starting to feel settled into our new home, we MAY have even found a new church, and we are SO hopeful for the future job endeavors for my husband! As I re-read this post, which I started in the midst of the chaos, I am EVEN more grateful that I took the time to write it. The post reminds me that despite any chaos I feel internally, God PROVIDES.