What No One Tells You About Leaving the Military (My Story About Building A Life That Fit)
What happens when an Air Force officer walks away from a prestigious career — not because she failed, but because she was brave enough to ask a harder question?
That’s exactly what this conversation is about.
In a recent episode of the Long Blue Line Leadership podcast, I had the privilege of sitting down with host Naviere to talk about one of the most defining seasons of my life: transitioning out of active duty as part of a dual-military couple, redefining what success actually means, and learning — slowly, imperfectly — how to lead from the inside out.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re achieving everything on paper but something still feels off, this episode is for you.
And if you’ve ever wondered what it looks like to rebuild your identity after a major life change, I think you’ll find something here that lands.
Hit play above, then keep reading for a few highlights.
A Few Highlights and Thoughts
On freedom — and what it really costs. Early in my career, I reached out to my mentor about transitioning to the Reserve. What I was really asking for was permission — permission to want something different. She gave me something even better: the freedom to actually choose. This conversation changed everything about how I make decisions now.
On the story that was quietly running me. One of the most powerful frameworks I’ve carried from a transformational leadership course is this: what’s undefined runs you. For me, that undefined story was “I don’t belong” — the product of moving constantly as a Navy kid. Naming it didn’t make it disappear, but it stopped driving me from the shadows. I share the specific moment I started consciously replacing it with “I belong here,” and why that shift matters for anyone in a leadership role. Read more about letting go of limiting beliefs.
On showing up in other people’s storms. In January 2020, I lost my brother-in-law Bob — USAFA Class of 2008 — to suicide. This part of the conversation is raw and real, and I share it because leadership isn’t just strategy and systems. Sometimes it’s simply being present for someone who is struggling, even when — especially when — they haven’t asked for it.
On integrity as a practice, not a standard. Integrity isn’t perfection. It’s proactive ownership. It means keeping and honoring your word. That distinction — keeping vs. honoring — is small on paper and massive in practice, and I’ve seen it transform team culture when leaders actually live it.
Why I Think You Should Watch This
I don’t share my story often in long-form interview format. Most of what I create is built around your journey — frameworks, tools, prompts, and resources for high-capacity women who are figuring out how to lead well without losing themselves.
But in this conversation, Naviere asked the questions that pulled out the things I don’t always say out loud:
- What I’d tell my younger self about risk and trust
- Why I walked away from active duty even though it was “working”
- How I define success now — quietly, practically, on my own terms
- What daily life actually looks like when you’re trying to align your values and your calendar
If any of that resonates, I think the 40 minutes is worth it.
Watch the full episode above — and if something in it moves you, I’d love to hear which moment. Send me an email at jess@simplifiedmotherhood.com
Ready to go deeper? If this conversation sparked something for you, explore how to work with me — a coaching experience designed to help high-capacity women close the gap between where they are and where they know they’re meant to be.
