I’m going to tell you right now, this post is less about specific tactics for how to live on one income with a baby and more about encouragement and mindsets you absolutely need to live on one income with a baby.
I remember when I was considering quitting my job, I was afraid of going down to one income. “Would we be able to pay the bills?” was actually keeping me up at night, but there were other fears there too. Not only because my husband had a variable income, but because I was afraid our lifestyle would have to significantly change as well.
I decided to unpack and discover why I was so afraid to become a stay at home mom and to live on one income.
I’m here to share with you that if you desire to stay home with your beautiful babies, raise them yourself, and enjoy a stay at home mom life, then you should do it!
You shouldn’t let the fear of not being able to live on one income get in the way. Let’s discover some mindsets that will help you get there!
How to live and thrive on one income with a baby (these are not grocery hacks!)
To live on one income, the most important change you’ll have to make is a mindset and to create a vision for your family that empowers you to action. You are the leader of your family.
While I think setting up a budget with a zero-based budget is absolutely-positively essential for success as a one-income family… changing your mindset is just as important to actually making the budget stick. (I might be partial but this step-by-step guide to setting up my budget is my favorite).
Why live on one income?
When you decide to move to one income, your life WILL change but in my opinion, it changes for all the good and beautiful reasons in the world.
You’ll have more time with your precious family, more time to date your husband, more time to create healthy, delicious foods, more time to think and meditate and pursue big passions that will impact the world.
While your money may decrease, it doesn’t mean your contribution to the world and your worth will decrease as a stay at home mom.
When I really thought about it, this was one of my MAIN fears about becoming a stay at home mom and going to one income when my first baby was born.
My loss of identity. My loss of worth. It wasn’t actually about the money.
And while I still continue to fight that battle of identity, I have a feeling I’d be fighting it at home or in the workplace.
Our identity and worth should not be tied up in what we do or how much money we make, but in something else. For me, it’s in Christ. But for everyone, it needs to be something that is bigger than yourself (but not put into someone else in this world).
Sandra Cisneros. “But I deal with this by meditating and by understanding I’ve been put on the planet to serve humanity. I have to remind myself to live simply and not overindulge, which is a constant battle in a material world.”
Related Post: How to manage your budget as a stay at home mom
Today, I’m talking about frugal living on one income and what mindsets to embrace and consider in order to actually survive (and thrive) as a one income family post-baby. These are how we handled becoming a one-income family!
Living on one income in a two-income world is hard! But with the right mindsets, you can be living on less and loving it more. These simple frugal living tips for parents will give you smart ways to live on one income with a baby!
Thrive as a single-income family while dealing with one income family stress successfully. Learn how to thrive on one-income as a stay at home mom!
Technically, we had two babies and were expecting our third when I decided to quit my full-time job and go down to one income… so really, these tips were even more applicable at the time!
1. Embrace Contentment
First and foremost like most things, practicing contentment for your current situation makes a huge difference. Having enough clothes, enough food, doing enough. Being enough. Not comparing to others.
This practice of contentment will go a long way in helping you save money when you have less money to live on.
Jackie French Koller. “There are two ways to be rich: One is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little.”
Related Post: 14 Ways Real-Life Married Couples Handle Finances
2. Give abundantly
I fully admire those who seemlingly have “less” but give so generously.
If you live like you are in abundance and always look at those around you that have less, you will learn to live on less and you will also feel a greater call for life.
Harold Kushner. “Our souls are not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth, or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter.”
3. Stop saying “I need”
My husband gets me on this all the time. I like to use the word “need” for all sort of things.
I need new shampoo. We need a new router. We need the next bigger bike. We need to go to this show.
In reality, we don’t “need” pretty much any of it.
Yes, yes, a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothing, and affection…pretty much covers Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
But what I mean is, in our culture, we have a lot of instant gratification.
Remembering that most things aren’t needs and are simply wants, will help you practice patience and learn to save money for what’s really important.
Vernon Howard. “You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need.”
Related Post: 15 Day No Spend Challenge Printable
4. Invest in yourself – everyday
I’m not talking about self-care here. I’m talking about real investing. Like buying a gym membership, taking a class, or learning a new skill.
I’m recognizing that if you’re living on one income with a baby, you are most likely transitioning to becoming a stay at home mom or your husband is becoming a stay at home dad. If either of those are true, don’t forget to allow both spouses to invest in themselves – support each other.
I think this is the true “self-care” that we should consider as parents.
How are we bettering ourselves for tomorrow?
Doris Janzen Longacre. “The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn’t simple.”
5. Make a choice and stop blaming others
This is probably the hardest one to write about because I really don’t want this to sound like “I’m-better-than-thou.” Because I totally do this too.
It’ so easy to be the victim of a situation.
- Maybe you feel like you HAVE to stay at home because daycare is too expensive, and you feel you are the only one who can raise your kids right.
- Maybe you feel like your husband is convincing you to stay home because of work/life balance, but you feel like you are sacrificing a hard-earned career.
- Maybe your mom stayed home and you want to, but you feel guilty for not working too because you enjoyed your work and worked so hard to get to where you are.
All of this to say, I want you to stop right now. I want you to stop making excuses.
Instead of saying you just “ended up” in this situation of “stay-at-home-mom-one-income-no-money” because it seemed the most logical….
I want you to whole-heartedly-with-no-reservation-state, “I choose to live on one income + reason”.
- I choose to live on one income….for the betterment of my family.
- I choose to live on one income… to raise a healthy baby.
- I choose to live on one income…and do everything I can to make it work.
- I choose to live on one income… and work hard to improve myself and our family.
- I choose to live on one income… and to help my spouse tackle the debt that is now ours.
But of course… you have to put it in your own words in order for it to empower you to succeed.
Choosing makes all the difference in the world.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl
6. Practice Gratitude for Your Situation
I was in a funk a few years back and couldn’t see to appreciate the things around me that normally brought me joy. To counter this, I started a gratitude journal and it made all the difference in the world.
If you find yourself in a situation that feels less than ideal, instead of focusing on what’s missing, focus on what you’re thankful for.
7. Keep the End Game in Mind
Y’all parenting young kids is HARD. They are so dependent on you for everything from food to getting dressed to going to the bathroom to emotional and educational support.
I’m not going to tell you some cliche about “enjoy it while it lasts” even though it really is true… time flies way too fast!
But I do want to remind you to keep the end game in mind – as a stay at home mom or dad, the hardest years will be while the little ones are at home full-time. Once they get to pre-school and Kindergarten, it is a GAME changer. You’ll have time to help balance family household responsibilities but also be there to drop-off and pick-up the kids from the bus stop.
The lack of extra income will feel like less of a sacrafice because your quality of life will be that much better!
8. Prioritize the Important over the Urgent
Make a list of what’s REALLY important to you in your life right now. Common categories might be your spouse, your children, finances, work, recreation, your faith, or health. Be as specific as possible.
As you make your list, think about, do your daily tasks align with what you say is MOST important in your life?
This same exercise can be applied to your expenses and spending. Does a seemingly “urgent” want override your ability to save for what’s really important to you? Being clear on your priorities will help you focus as a one-income family!
9. Value Experiences Over Material Goods
As Iv’e already mentioned, thriving as a one-income family really depends on your mindset and where you place your values. If you value experiences over material goods, you are on the pathway to success.
There are so many fun family memories and experiences that don’t cost too much money. When you value simple gift for your kids and focus more on that DOING with your family, you’ll develop much more contentment in yourself and your kids.
Above all, be prepared to deal with additional family stress during the transition
As your roles slightly change and there is an increase in parenting responsibility, you will also see added stress – as with any transition!
Common stresses you will likely see as you become one-income family post baby are:
- Pressure on the sole-income earning parent to make ends meet
- Guilt from the sole-income earning parent about being away from the kids
- Pressure for the working parent to do an equal amount of parenting when they get home in the evening
- “Mom burnout” from the stay at home parent who must weather the parenting requirements for most of the day
- Worry about making ends meet
- A strain on marriage if expectations aren’t aligned
- Overall exhaustion from both parents
- Redefining and establishing division of labor expectations, yet the ability to show grace when tired
- Not knowing how to support your spouse in the challenges they are facing as either the stay-at-home parent or sole-income earning parent
Cultivating the mindsets above will help you combat the stresses of a one-income family!
Commonly Asked Questions About Living on Less
How can a one income family save money?
For everyone this looks different, but a great place to start is taking part in a savings challenge to challenge YOURSELF and your family situation. Here are a few money saving challenge printables you can try, or a super popular challenge with day-by-day action steps to spend less can be sent directly to your inbox by heading to the homepage – easy peasy!
How many families are single income?
Roughly a quarter of the families in the U.S. have at least one stay at home parent, with the number of dads staying home slightly increased in recent years. All this to say, you’re not the only one asking this question! Sometimes becoming a single income is scary, and I totally understand that! That’s always why side-hustles and other work from home jobs are on the rise as well.
How much money should we save before having a baby?
Again, this is totally variable for each family! Cost of living, rent, job stability, life style – all of these are factors. But one piece of evidence is overwhelmingly common in families who are happy with their financial situation, they have a good grasp of their income and expenses and know how to make their money work for them.
How can I start making a plan to live on one-income?
Beginning your financial plan to becoming a parent can feel overwhelming at first, but just remember, it’s step-by-step and dollar-by-dollar.
The biggest advice I can give you right now, is start spending like you’re on one income NOW. Use one spouse’s income for all the bills, and put the rest away in savings.
Next, if you don’t have one already set-up a budget. Here’s a free Simple Budget Template Printable that can help you get started.
P. S. Don’t forget to check out the Simplified Budget for Families so you can feel confident in the fact that you are prioritizing your spending to align with what’s most important to you – your family.
It’s the step-by-step guide with video tutorials and a free pre-made spreadsheet that I’ll show you how to customize.
xox
