There is no question that in American culture, it is a status to say, “I am busy.”
When people ask, “How are you?” — that’s one of the most common responses you hear. At work, at restaurants, in the school pickup line. And it’s often said with a tone of pride and resignation at the same time, a smile on the face, as if busyness is a badge of honor.
I want to combat that.
Being too busy — too busy for this conversation, too busy to rest, too busy to pause — is not something I want to wear proudly. When we say it that way, it implies overcommitment. And that’s not something to aspire to.
But here’s what I also want to say: sometimes life is just full. And knowing the difference between an overscheduled life and a full season?
That’s where intentionality comes in. Let’s dive in!
Are You Too Busy? Here’s the Difference Between Busy and Intentional
What the Research Says About Running Without Rest
Here’s the thing — this isn’t just a personal conviction. The science backs it up. Research published in PMC found that chronic stress causes measurable changes in the brain — the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, working memory, and top-down regulation of behavior.
In plain terms: when we never stop, we literally erode our ability to think clearly and make good decisions. And a study by Microsoft’s Human Factors Lab confirmed that back-to-back commitments with no breathing room caused stress-related brain wave activity to accumulate — but that even short breaks allowed the brain to reset and participants to re-engage.
It wasn’t a vacation that helped.
It was just a pause. Rest isn’t laziness. Margin isn’t wasted time. They are the infrastructure that makes everything else sustainable — and when you feel guilty for slowing down, know that the guilt is cultural, not factual.
Let Me Tell You About a Tuesday
One Tuesday, I found myself at gymnastics practice — which I rarely attend — with my two younger kids in tow, waiting for my daughter who normally has a 4.5-hour practice.
As soon as the kids got home from school, we rushed there. My oldest was at a track meet, so the littles came with me. We sat in the bleachers for 30 minutes, left to grab Cane’s (used some kids’ certificates we had), and then came back — only to pick my daughter up two and a half hours early.
Why? Because she was selected for the district art show, and her artwork was on display at the district administration building, 25 minutes away.
I knew she didn’t love missing practice. I knew the coaches wouldn’t either. But I made a choice to honor all the different parts of who she is — her art, her school, her growth — not just her commitment to gymnastics. I emailed the coaches, gave them a heads up, and we left.
She was there about one hour out of a 4.5-hour practice.
A mom I was chatting with in the bleachers looked at me and said, “Wow. You’re just trying to make it all happen, aren’t you?”
She wasn’t being unkind. But it struck me — yes. That is exactly what I’m doing. For better or worse.
What Happened Next (Because It Didn’t Stop There)
We left gymnastics around 5:30, drove to the art show, and stayed about 30 minutes. We briefly crossed paths with my grandmother, who came to support my daughter, which I loved.
But then we had to leave — because church Bible study had started at 6:30, and it was already 6:35.
So I had to decide: is it more important to stay present at the art show without rushing, or to avoid being late to Bible study, something we do every single week?
The art show won. We arrived to Bible study 20 minutes late.
And then — I got a message from my son’s coach saying the track meet was running behind and they wouldn’t be back until 8 PM. My husband was out of town. My kids finished Bible study at 8.
Panic set in.
My son still had baseball practice from 7–9 PM. I went into problem-solving mode. I messaged a friend and asked for help. She immediately said yes.
We drove to practice late. I dropped him off, thanked God for the friend who could bring him home, and exhaled.
What I Kept Telling Myself All Day
Throughout all of it, my inner dialogue was working overtime — and not always in the helpful direction. I kept thinking people were judging me. That I was a bad mom. That I was doing too much and doing none of it well.
But I had to remind myself:
They aren’t in my circumstances. They aren’t making decisions for my family. And honestly, they probably aren’t paying that much attention anyway.
And more than anything, I kept coming back to this:
Something is better than nothing.
Showing up late to practice is better than not showing up at all. Staying 30 minutes at the art show is better than missing it entirely. Arriving at Bible study 20 minutes in is still showing up.
Keeping Your Word vs. Honoring Your Word
Before I get to the tips, I want to share a distinction that I think matters a lot when you’re navigating a busy season.
We all know what keeping your word means — you make a commitment, you follow through.
But honoring your word is different.
For me, honoring my word means: as soon as I realize I’m not going to be able to keep my word, I let the person know. Even if it makes me look bad. I do my best to fix the situation, and I release the expectation I placed on myself.
Because what happens — to me and probably to you too — is that commitments that make complete sense individually start to conflict with each other. And then you have to choose.
You have to choose between being late and showing up anyway. You have to choose between missing practice and honoring your child’s other accomplishments.
Honoring your word isn’t about being perfect. It’s about communicating, choosing intentionally, and releasing the guilt.
The Glass Balls and the Rubber Balls
Not everything in your schedule carries the same weight.
Some things are glass balls — if you drop them, they shatter. Relationships, health, your kids’ core needs, your faith. Handle those with care.
Some things are rubber balls — if you drop them, they bounce. Baseball practice will happen again Thursday. Gymnastics continues next week. Your spiritual growth is built over a lifetime, not one Tuesday.
Drop the rubber balls. They bounce.
Knowing the difference is what allows you to stay sane on the hard days.
Are You Too Busy? 5 Ways to Navigate a Full Season With Intention
Here’s what I want you to walk away with — practical, actionable things you can do when life gets full.
1. Distinguish between keeping your word and honoring your word.
If you can’t follow through on a commitment, communicate early. Let people know. Release the shame, and do what you can to make it right. That’s integrity — not perfection.
2. Remind yourself: something is better than nothing.
Late is not the same as absent. Showing up imperfectly still counts. Give yourself credit for the effort, not just the execution.
3. Know your glass balls from your rubber balls.
Get clear on what you cannot drop. Then let the rest bounce without guilt. Write them down if you need to. Your priorities should be driving your calendar, not the other way around.
4. Ask for help — and accept it.
This is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom. I had to text a friend and ask her to pick up my son. She said yes in under a minute. People want to help. Let them.
5. Know your capacity — and protect it in every season.
A week with a traveling spouse is different than a week when your partner is home. A busy sports season is different than summer. You have to calibrate what you take on based on what you actually have available. Know your bandwidth, and build margin into your rhythms whenever you can — so that when the sprint comes, you have something to draw from.
Busy vs. Balanced: The Honest Truth
I can’t tell you on any given day whether my life looks balanced or busy — because sometimes I genuinely can’t tell either.
But here’s what I do know:
Balance isn’t built in one day. It’s built across seasons — one intentional decision at a time.
Balance doesn’t always look calm. Sometimes it looks like showing up late, leaving early, asking for help, and letting go of perfection. Sometimes it looks like choosing the art show over the full practice. Sometimes it looks like arriving at Bible study 20 minutes in and sitting down anyway.
The goal isn’t to never be busy.
The goal is to know when you’re sprinting — and make sure you’re not always sprinting.
Every season is different. You have to know your energy, your patience, your bandwidth. And above all, you have to stay anchored to your long-term goals — not just the urgent demands of the day.
You don’t have to make everything happen perfectly.
You just have to keep showing up intentionally.
Want More of This?
If this resonated with you — the real-life juggle, the mom guilt, the constant recalibrating — I’d love to have you in my corner.
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The Financial Independence Garden: Why Growing Your Money Takes the Same Patience as Tending Roots Because building a life with margin isn’t just about time — it’s about your finances too. This one breaks down the slow, steady, unglamorous work of getting there.
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Looking for more support? Check out my Work With Me and grab my free resource, the [10-Minute Future Self Shift], to start creating more space today.
