Mom burnout is a real thing. You don’t have an effective to do list and you’re struggling with your finances but haven’t started a budget,. Everything is piling up and you just don’t know how to cope with the pressure. You absolutely feel like you’re doing your best even though it feels like you’re failing left and right.
The littlest things set you off. You are constantly frustrated and annoyed. Most specifically, people in your immediate family are beginning to frustrate you with everything they do!
Don’t they know you’re doing your best, why is it they are intentionally trying to make your life harder than it has to be?
You have no more left to give. You are burnt out and no one seems to care.
But what IF they really do? How can you change your mindset to recognize that?
P. S. Don’t forget to check out other articles on Overcoming Mom Burnout!
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What if we assume people are doing their best?
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash
I was recently listening to a book on Hoopla (free audiobooks through your library), and I found a conference featuring Brenè Brown.
I LOVE Brenè Brown EVERYTHING. But I especially loved her books:
- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms The Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead*
- The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are*
But this particular talk was on her book, Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead* (it’s on my reading list!)
Anyway, she struggled with answering the question, “What if you assume people are doing their best?” and how would that change what YOU do?
Do you ever feel like your kids’ mission in life is to get under your skin? They are purposely trying to get in the way of you getting things done around the house FOR THEM.
It’s like… it’s their sole job… to think of ways to make you late by spilling milk as they get up from the table at breastfast. I mean, seriously?!
Here’s what I want you to do.
Go to your bathroom, look in your drawer, I bet you have a little white stick with fluffy balls on the end that you put in your ear to remove wax. Got the Q-tip?
Great, take it back to your kitchen and put it somewhere you’ll see every day.
Here’s why.
Q-Tips also means “Quit Taking It Personally.”
Q-tips don’t only clean your ears of waxy buildup getting in the way of physical hearing, it also allows you to see and hear the hearts of those around you.
QTIP has the power to transform your marriage and your motherhood.
Instead of getting angry, remember that your kids are just doing their best. They are kids and are still learning. They “most likely” didn’t wake up this morning and say, “I want to make mom mad this morning.” (I saw most likely because some of you may have teenagers and if you do? Well… that’s a whole-nother challenge!)
Instead of feeling attacked, look at the moments of frustration from your kids as opportunities to help “their best” be “better.” Look for their hearts.
Instead of assuming the worst, ask yourself, “Do I believe they are doing their best?” When you can say “yes,” then ask yourself, what you should do next. This has the power to change your actions.
Quit Taking It Personally in Marriage
This is totally applicable for your husband too!
Is there something very specific that your husband does that annoys you? You know the thing. That one thing you’ve mentioned over and over and over again. You’ve TOLD him it annoys you and that it gets on your nerves. (re: leaving tools on my kitchen counter…)
But do you know how I got rid of that feeling of annoyance and started smiling when I saw those tools?
I QTIP-ed and chose to remember WHY those tools were there.
When he’s home from work, he loves completing projects ALL over the house. And I’ve got my honey-do list he’s working on.
The tools signify his act of service to do things around the house for me and the kids. And THAT is more important to me than left-out tools on the counter. His heart is in the right place. He’s not trying to annoy me by leaving the tools out.
Living with others whether a spouse or kids or parents isn’t always easy because we all have our unique way of doing things.
When those unique ways bump up against each other and cause tension, just remember QTIP and look for their heart!
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