You feel lethargic. You don’t want to do anything on your to-do list because it’s too overwhelming. You feel like you’re forgetting stuff all the time, and you’re dropping life’s juggling balls all over the place. This sounds like you’re in a mom funk.
First, I want to say that these tips do not constitute medical advice and if you believe you have a medical concern you should consider consulting your physician. Postpartum depression is a real thing and should be taken seriously!
These tips are for the moms who are looking to stop feeling overwhelmed with all the things and to start enjoying motherhood again.
Okay, let’s go!
Pssstttt, this is Chapter 2 of The Motherhood Project. Don’t forget to read Chapter 1 first!
There are affiliate links in this post. This means if you click on a link, I might receive a commission at no additional cost to you. Affiliate links are marked by an asterisk (*).
5 Things That Are Keeping You In the Mom Funk
The Motherhood Project: Chapter 2
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wake up one day to teenagers in my home wondering what happened to my babies!
Stop subscribing to the ideology that life with young kids must be overwhelming and exhausting.
Embrace the hope that motherhood can be enjoyable now and live your best mom life.
1. Your identity is wrapped up in what you do
When I had two kids under 2 and worked full time, I felt lost in motherhood. I put everything into taking care of my kids. and the rest of my energy went to my job. My kids became my life for all the “spare” moments.
As time went on I noticed, I got frustrated at the little things. I was annoyed easily by my husband. And I snapped at my kids often.
Enter kid number 3 and becoming a stay at home mom.
When you have big dreams to impact the world, the monotony of everyday chores can beat you down.
You feel like you’re getting nothing done day after day, and you’re not making a difference. Your to-do list is still a mile long.
This, in turn, makes you feel like you’re worthless and it’s a spiraling effect downwards.
To get out of the mom funk, remember that your identity and worth is NOT tied to what you do every day.
You are loved and adored for who you are, not for what you do.
When you remember that, mistakes you make or comments made will seem less like an attack on you personally, and more just a task to be done.
Your kids love you no matter what. Your husband adores you.
And you make a huge difference simply by being present and raising your kids right to love others for who they are.
If all this resonates, The Daily Firsts Agenda is a great resource! Go here to read more!
2. You’re not taking care of yourself
Somewhere between the fears of pregnancy and preparation for birth, the sleepless nights of the “4th trimester”, and the emotional roller coaster of toddlerhood, we’ve focused so much on a tiny little dependent being that we’ve forgotten to take care of ourselves.
When I was a first-time mom with 2 under 2, I know I often forgot:
- The last time I showered without hearing phantom cries.
- My last full night of uninterrupted sleep.
- The last time I felt confident about my body.
- The last time I took a moment to breathe and rest.
- The last time I laughed so hard I cried.
All the days blurred together. And I didn’t have the energy to rejuvenate, refresh, and reset.
I thought a hobby was changing a diaper in between sprinting out the door for a quick run.
To get out of the mom funk, it’s time to start taking care of yourself, mama.
If you’re interested, this is what I think every stay at home mom should read about getting dressed and choosing what to wear!
3. You’re competing for THE SMC
Society tells us that we have to give, give, give to our kids in order to be the best mom possible. We have to make sacrifices.
I might even say, there’s a mom crown we are all competing for.
We are being judged by our level of busyness, how clean our house is, how healthy our food is, and how awesome our kids are at everything, and the fact that we can DO IT ALL without breaking a sweat, our makeup done, and no hair out of place on our top knot.
We’re ready for someone to appear around the corner and place THE Super Mom Crown (SMC) on our heads.
While I often approach motherhood as the opportunity to serve my kids (whom I love), because it helps make all the little things worthwhile.
And while I definitely agree you should set an example by working hard and doing your best at what you do.
Let’s agree to stop competing for THE SMC. I’d rather be doing life with you, mama, then competing to see who has the best Instastory.
Let’s help each other clean each other’s castles, education the needy, and not worry about what everyone thinks of us.
When we quit comparing ourselves, we begin to be more grateful for what we have around us and the mom funk begins to lift.
4. You’re forgetting to breathe
The big question is: Do you do everything at the expense of yourself without ever replenishing or allowing a chance to breathe?
When we as moms give our ALL without refueling our needs, we burn out. We’re left with a shell of a woman barely functioning each day.
We need to meet our physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and mental aspects.
I’ve realized my kids need ME, not just a SHELL of me.
Which is why I’m doing my best to live my best life these days and to replenish myself.
Taking the time to pause, take deep calming breaths, and clear my mind does wonders to reset, keep me calm, and help me stay present even on a hectic day.
Don’t let the mom funk set in by taking deep breaths for 1-2 minutes every hour.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”‘When we as moms give our ALL without refueling our needs, we burn out.’ #momlife #livingmybestlife” quote=”When we as moms give our ALL without refueling our needs, we burn out.” theme=”style2″]
5. You’re forgetting to slow down
I’ve been contemplating mom guilt lately and trying to unpack it. What does it actually mean for me and what triggers the guilt?
I’ve found that if something triggers fear, guilt, anxiety, or anger, it’s better to identify the trigger so I can control it in the future. I talk about the importance of identifying what is unseen in Chapter 1.
For me the mom guilt surfaces the most around time.
There are so many sayings around time. Time flies. Time is money. Time is relative.
I personally like to view time as precious. I protect it ruthlessly as the keeper of the calendar.
We rush around “getting things done” and there’s no room to breathe. No room to make mistakes. No room to play.
To get out of the mom funk, learn to discern what should truly fill your calendar. Build lots of space to play, be spontaneous, and rest.
If there was one thing I want to encourage you in, it would be to treat time as precious and to protect it with all your strength.
To wrap this all up, I LOVE this book for new moms, tired moms, and overwhelmed moms. Basically ALL moms. I’ve read it 3 times. Each time while I was pregnant with my 3 babies.
And each time I found rest, motivation to breathe, and such AMAZING encouragement. You need to read it if you’re feeling overwhelmed mama. You can grab Desperate: hope for the mom who needs to breathe* from Amazon.
If you enjoyed this article and it inspired you in anyway, I encourage you to subscribe below. Not only will you gain access to my Simply Awesome Freebies for moms but I send encouragement to my e-mail subscribers that you will NEVER find on my blog.
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– Jess
